


The Morning After Newt Killed Himself

by JaredKleinman



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Sad, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaredKleinman/pseuds/JaredKleinman
Summary: This takes place after PRU. Newt has been cured from the Precursors but suffers from severe depression and self hatred after realising what he's done and eventually kills himself because of it - this drabble deals with the morning after.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	The Morning After Newt Killed Himself

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the poem "The Morning After I killed Myself" by Meggie Royer. It's a beautiful poem and I recommend it to all of you.

The morning after Newt killed himself he woke up.

His vision was a little blurry at first and he stretched before leaving the bed. He dressed himself and drank black coffee. He used an old towel to clean the kitchen counter and folded his pyjamas.

The morning after Newt killed himself, he fell in love.

Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the Marshall who always turned a blind eye to every single one of Hermann's complaints. He fell in love with his uncle and the way he would teach him the piano at eight every evening without fail. He fell in love with his father and how he picked him up and carried him on his shoulders and how that always brought a smile to his face, no matter what. With Hermann all over again who once believed in math and was now sitting at his desk in his lab desperately trying to believe Newt still existed.

The morning after Newt killed himself he went for a walk.

He watched the way birds flew away as other people passed them and how they started gathering around again as soon as they had left. He turned around and saw a jacket on the display of a small shop he once desperately wanted to have but as his gaze settled on the reflection in the windows there was nothing but sky in his place. He stood by as a stranger entered the shop and emerged with said jacket only a few moments later.

The morning after Newt killed himself he went back to his flat and looked at the letters he had written as a twenty two year old and examined how the ink was already fading.He visited Hermann's lab and spilled Kaiju entrails all over the floor and watched how someone in the messhall read the newspaper with the news of his death.

The morning after Newt killed himself he watched the ocean as the sun came up. Each wave was like a breath and he saw a child pointing out a single red cloud to her mother.

The morning after Newt killed himself he went back to the body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into him. He told him about the jacket, his uncle, his father and about Hermann. He told him about the sunset and about letters and about getting carried on someone else's shoulders.

The morning after Newt killed himself he tried to unkill himself

but he couldn't finish what he started.


End file.
